gage squared

Surprise Confession

2010-08-13T12:34:00.002+09:00

We love our bosses. They might be the kindest Koreans we know. One is soft spoken and quite strictly religious. The other is big, boisterous, and the students are terrified of him. When we ask him about his weekend, he often replies, "oh, I was drunken!". Two polar opposites, but both are always willing to help us out anytime we need it.

Koreans still aren't as big into dogs as people are in North America. Most still think of them very much as vermin. Often Koreans will tell you how dirty dogs are, and how you shouldn't have one because they just make you sick.

So, after work yesterday I had to stay late to mark some practice tests for our "scary" boss (we have students preparing for an important English exam). I called to let Thomas know I'd be late, and being the kind husband he is he came over with Sawyer and some fried chicken. Our boss came in and asked, "You love having your dog?". Thomas told him yes, we loved Sawyer, and proceeded to ask our boss if he liked pets.

We fully expected to hear, "no, I don't like having a pet". We were correct, that's what he said.
Then we expected him to say, "they are so dirty". But no. He said, "when I was a boy my dog died and I cried and cried and cried. A pet brings to much sorrow".

Best ever.

Thailand

2010-08-10T00:21:00.002+09:00

We went to Koh Samui, Thailand for 5 days last week. These are some photos from the trip.

It's funny, because when I returned people asked if I took a lot of pictures, which sitting on the beach all day I didn't think I had. Turns out I had over 600.

We're off to China September 21-25 with another couple we know here in Seoul. After one year stuck in Seoul, we're beyond thrilled at these two trips. Our next vacation isn't until February (not counting Christmas when we plan on having family visit) but I think we can make a mini vacay to Bangkok work. Warning: Don't go to Thailand unless you want to spend the rest of your life trying to get back.

Ta-da!

2010-07-25T01:25:00.001+09:00

Here's hoping a face lift will provide me with a little more inspiration.

Apt Viewing

2010-07-24T11:58:00.003+09:00

Things I would like to tell to the people in the apartment building beside mine:

1. That red curtain, combined with having your light on makes it look like you're "open for business" Amsterdam style.

2. Stop keeping your dog on your balcony! With all the windows closed up it must be, like, a million degrees!

3. Hey, even with your window closed a little, I can still see you dart around naked.

4. I don't care if you can see me dart around naked.

5. Everyone keep up the good work. If I ever have to give up cable I'll be turning to y'all for entertainment.

Honesty is the Best Policy?

2010-04-14T18:56:00.007+09:00

Something about working with children that most people learn quickly is their inhibitions in regards to truth telling. Young children won't shy away from telling you, "your breath smells" or "you have pointy ears like and elf!" (both of which I've had said to me in the past, and in defense of the bad breath it was after I'd had coffee).

Being in Korea, though, you have to develop an entirely new skin of thickness for what these children will say/do to you. Keep in mind these are not things only my youngest students have said to me, but students up to age 16:

1. "Teacher, you look awful today. You have dark eye circles." (age 11)
2. "Teacher, your nose is long and big" (age 15)
3. On more than one occassion I've had students reach out and just press on the tip of my nose. It usually results in screams, and encouragement for other students to also touch the end of my nose. (ages 13 - 15)
4. Every female teacher's most dreaded, "Teacher, baby?" while pointing to your stomach. (ages 9-13)
5. The other week I was wearing shorts with tights, and a female student came up to me and "examined" my thighs (checked the girth and firmness). I got a "good teacher" when she was finished. Phew. (age 15)
6. Often changing between curly and straight hair, I showed up to class with straight hair after wearing it curly, to which I was told, "Oh teacher, better hair, curly hair is old lady hair". (age 16)
7. One time my students came in to visit me in the office, and upon looking at Thomas they simply pointed at him and laughed, "funny hair today!"
8. This last one isn't bad, quite the contrary, but I need to share it. For some reason Thomas keeps getting told he looks like Brad Pitt, "Teacher Tom, same Brad Pitt!" they say. My students saw a picture of Brad Pitt in their text books and exclaimed, "Teacher! It's Tom!". Oh brother.

I'm sure I'm missing some classics, and I'm sure by the end of the day I'll have a few more. My new slogan for teaching English in Korea:

Foreign Teaching Korea: Daily Lessons in Letting Things Go

Thomas' Look of the Week

2010-03-30T13:02:00.002+09:00

What does a black eye and really chapped lips with lots of blistex on them look like?

This:

I'm Learned

2010-01-10T23:46:00.006+09:00

Things I learned or realized today in Korea:

1. Finding your 2 Korean friends in a sea of 2,000 Koreans is in fact as challenging as it sounds (at one point I wasn't even able to remember what my friends actually looked like).
2. After 6 months I still hate that they all chew with their mouths open. I believe in 6 more months I will still feel the same way.
3. I see a drunk Korean man every single day.
4. I see a drunk Korean man fall down every 3-5 days. Literally, man goes from vertical to horizontal (tonight the man was fortunate enough to land in a pile of snow).
5. My favourite Korean food is meat. The meat really just tastes like meat you'd find at home. So I guess I don't really have a favourite Korean food.
6. Everyone will tell you the bus is faster than the subway. What they don't tell you is that your chances of dying on a bus (or wetting your pants in fear of death) is multiplied by 5.
7. Just because I have learned more Korean, doesn't mean Koreans have learned more English. Must remember to clarify that no, I do not want a Vanilla latte, I want a Banilla latte.
8. I will spend $70 for two bottles of my favourite wine.
9. I am not on vacation here, so I need to stop eating like I am.
10. Dairy products have ridiculously short expiry dates, while bread lasts freakishly long.
11. I like waiting to show the salesgirls my face until after they've run up to me and spoken a bunch of Korean (the dark hair and bangs usually makes them assume I'm one of them). Reactions I get usually involve them stopping mid sentence, backing away slowly, or awkward smile/giggle/red face combinations.
12. Milk is never going to smell right, just put it in your coffee and cereal and don't ask questions.

Fish is no. Engrish is Yes.

2010-01-03T23:35:00.006+09:00

We went to the Aquarium at COEX, the big underground mall in Seoul. All of my undersea wonderfulness pictures were crap. Thankfully these ones turned out perfectly:

This is the one that got it all started.

It's funny how simple this only needed to be: Caution! Window.

Second line from the top.

This is good English. Ornot.

Confusing but Okay, Good Picture!

Instructions above the exhibit where you can pick up the starfish.

I couldn't get my camera out fast enough.
It says: City of Bastard

Lesson learned: at an inside aquarium your fish pictures may not turn out great so make sure you go to the inside aquarium in a foreign country so you will have good "wonky Engrish" pictures to share with all your friends and family instead.

Why I Love My Job

2009-12-24T23:10:00.007+09:00

I finally, finally, finally brought my camera with me to work today. About a month ago, I walked into a class I teach three days a week, and was greeted by a student who I swear had grown at least 5 inches over night. I realized I needed to quickly get my camera to work, otherwise all my uber-cute students would no longer be uber-cute, just kinda-cute. These pictures are from two of my favorite classes.

This is Candy (L) and Julia. Julia is one of my favorites. She's smart, but it's her dramatic, wild goofiness that I soak up class after class. Sometimes I just let her "perform" her craziness for the class (anything from re-enactments of Korean soap operas, to made up stories, to TV commercials). Then I perform my impression of her. As the Koreans would say: many, many, many laughter.

Peter (L) and Harry are in the same class with the girls. Poor Harry always wants to work and study. Too bad I'm his teacher.

Genius Julia (as she calls herself) decided it would be great to let her friend give her a hickey on her cheek. I nearly died when she told me, "teacher, friend on cheek, shhhshhhcchhhoo (vaccum, sucking noise)".

The three girls here (Lisa, Linda, and Jessica), and three boys below are my youngest. Just looking at these pictures makes me excited to get back to work and see them after Christmas break. I love them. Period.

James, Eric (centre) and Jack. Wild, wild children. I probably wouldn't love them as much if they were any different. They have pretty low English, so often the boys will jump out of their seats act out thoughts they have, or words they want to communicate (yes, then I teach it to them in English).

This is James again. He's the best. The Korean teachers joke he is our child. He's always in the office talking and goofing around with Thomas and I. So much love.

These and so many more children here make me consistently happy to go to work. Thankfully, they easily outweigh the dumb, idiot children I also have to deal with.

Christmas Time

2009-12-24T12:01:00.004+09:00

One guess what movie I watched for my decorating inspiration: Elf. I had a fun couple nights cutting up all the snowflakes, I'm an expert now. A snowflakspert.

Yes, we actually have presents under the tree, those are from my family, there have been more added since!

If it looks like he hates wearing them, it's because he does. But scrappin' crappin' he looks cute as a button.

Thomas decked out in the traditional (Guthrie side) tacky Christmas bottoms (penguins drinking beer).

It's Christmas Eve here and we are sippin' cider and watching a movie. I have part of the turkey in cooking for tomorrow and it smells just like home. Only challenge will be resisting the urge to taste test before Christmas dinner. And now, off to baste.

Special Day?

2009-12-15T03:07:00.005+09:00

The conversation began:

Christy: Oh my gosh, it's 12 days till Christmas!
Thomas: Yes. Do you know what is only 6 days before Christmas?
Christy: Someones birthday?
Thomas: No.
Christy: Did we plan something? A movie? Is someone coming over?
Thomas: No.
Christy: I can't think of anything?!
Thomas: Try a little harder.
Christy: I have no clue!?
Thomas: Think.
Christy: Seriously, don't be a tuna, tell me, I don't know.
Thomas: Something important happened around this time.
Christy: Thomas, freekin' just tell me!
Thomas: It's our anniversary.
Christy: Oh crap.
Thomas: Yeah, I forgot until Kyla mentioned it to me tonight.

At least we both know neither of us has high expectations when it comes to celebrating being together. Correction: celebrating the specific day a piece of paper declared we'd be seeing a lot of each other over the next 85 years (no comments on what age that will put me at, thank-you).

Free Writing Time: Amy

2009-11-29T02:40:00.004+09:00

Very fond of this girl. She's addicted to her dictionary/thesaurus though and often uses phrases like "declare math contempt" or " school delegate excursion". Here are her less than thesaur-iffic titles:

Free Writing Time: with Jerry

2009-11-20T00:49:00.002+09:00

As promised, I have 6 posts queued up from one of my favourite ESL classes. Free Writing Time was the brilliant idea of fellow teacher Michaela, where the students write non-stop about anything for 10 minutes. Don't be fooled, these posts may be silly and good for a giggle, but it really is one of my smartest classes. They are all in Grade 3 and their comprehension is wonderful, we're just working on their writing!

Note: Some posts will be pics, but I decided to re-write others as I am not sure they would be easily read in a photo. I have resisted the urge to make any changes and anything that seems weird is because I've done my best to re-create how they actually wrote it.

Jerry wrote a poem one day:

Children's Verse
title: test

every children mind
is tep tep tep
Because test score
every children say
sigh~sigh~sigh~
and Score 100 every
children olleh But
70, 80 score every children
cry~cry~cry

Costco: not just a one stop shop,

2009-11-14T20:08:00.005+09:00

but your last stop shop. Like, last of your life:

i die

I figured this was worth me shamefully making my way back to this poor little neglected blog. Stay tuned for a mini-series of posts from students' writing. I have been making some classes "free-write" for 10 minutes a week. Hilarious.

Eye Spy: Expensive S**t

2009-10-22T02:05:00.002+09:00

After a little sleuthing I managed to find the bag I saw on the subway the other day that I decided I needed to have. It's some crazy $1,500 Burberry bag. I don't think I need it anymore.

Good-bye, self-esteem

2009-10-21T00:50:00.003+09:00

In Korea, the national hand signal for "no" is making an "x" with either your arms or your two pointer fingers. Either way, it's nice that you can communicate a negative in such a simple way.

On to my story.

As the evenings began to cool off a few weeks ago, it was apparent I was in need of a warm hoodie for walking the dog and just general things you do when you live life walking and biking everywhere. There's an Abercrombie/Hollister section at our local "HomePlus" (Target/Superstore equivalent) and I decided I deserved my little piece of SoCal style. So, Thomas and I biked down last Thursday before work to make the purchase. I excitedly locked my bike, and made my way to the olive green hoodie I knew was the one for me. The sales girl proceeded to take it off the rack and help me into it. And help I needed. As I squeezed my first arm in, it was apparent this wasn't my size, but I squished my other arm in just to make sure. In case I wasn't already positive, I zipped it up. Had I needed a corset with a fuzzy hood I would have dropped the 58,000 won in a second. Thankfully common sense kicked in and I took it off to see the size. Medium. Hmmm, that's a bit of a blow. Oh well, "larg-ee?" I asked, in my very sophisticated Korea-ficated English. The salesgirl looked at me, crossed her two pointer fingers in an "x", and proceeded to giggle as she stated "no!". Now imagine the giggling trailing off as I turned and walked away.

So what did I do? Went next door to the Outlet store and dropped way more than I should have on a fabulous, down-filled, puffy jacket (size small). Take that, lil' bitch! Oh well, I'm a heck of a lot warmer and it was actually a far more practical purchase. Still, if I could go back and give that lil' Korean gal a slap, I just might.

Bare Bones Science

2009-10-20T00:58:00.009+09:00

Here's what my Science lesson for the day was:

The lesson was about making secret messages and how to see through paper. All I know is that this combined with my art lesson a couple weeks back is making for some serious unexplainable giggles in front of my sweet, innocent students.

In other nude, I mean, news, I don't actually have any other news. I just wanted to use that clever little pun I'm mildly proud of. Anything to bring a little piece of Carrie Bradshaw to Seoul.

So long

2009-10-06T23:12:00.006+09:00

Life hasn't been terribly busy, but I've been a little neglectful posting. We just had a four day weekend which we spent caring for our little snipped puppy and I'm happy to report he's doing wonderfully. I do have a question, would you give your dog medicine that came from a package that looked like this?:

So I don't know whether to laugh at the dead dog, or the dog licking the dead dogs a-hem.

Onto something else very important: my curriculum. In one of my ESL classes (young but advanced kids) I get to teach Science and Art classes. Being the good teacher I am, the first time I look at the Art lesson for the week is usually when I open the book minutes before class. So you can imagine my surprise when I see this is my Art lesson last week:

The assignment? Draw a picture of yourself taking a shower. Hmmm. If the kids weren't all under the age of 10 I would have been pulling another lesson outta my a-hem. But I figured at the least I'd get a couple good photos for a blog post outta it. I was right. Here are my two personal favs:

I call this one eunu-riffi-ch.

This one is titled KEEP OUT!

At first glance the crotch area may look like pubic hair, but it's actually Korean that says, "you will never see this, it's private"! That one is courtesy of one of my favourite (and most witty) students.

Now if only Science was as interesting as Art.

Short end of the leash

2009-09-24T21:35:00.005+09:00

Sawyer needs his junk removed. I suppose neutered is the more mc (medically correct) term. The English speaking vet we first took Sawyer to recommended a clinic across the street from our apartment, which is a much better option than taking him home on a half hour subway ride after surgery. We have 4 days off next week so we decided to use that time to get it done.

So today Sawyer and I ventured out on a walk with the intention of also going into the clinic so I could mime chopping off his sac and hopefully book an appointment. I had no clue how much English to expect, so I figured having the actual package along to use as a prop would be helpful. First the receptionist thought I just wanted to get him a hair cut. Then she caught on and said, "Ahhh. Castration".

Yikes. Would it be inappropriate to say my vagina cringed in empathy at the use of that word?

Little did I know that a long walk for my fav pup was actually going to be an hour long vet visit, complete with four needles (blood tests and injections). I was worried he'd never speak to me again. Happy to report we're back to being best friends.

Wednesday is the big day. Poor lil' fella has no idea that today was only a mild annoyance compared to next week. Snip ya later.

No hatin'

2009-09-20T02:01:00.005+09:00

I am worried this blog seems to leave the impression there isn't much to be desired in this krazy Korea-land. Simply not the case:

1. $3 bottles of nail polish in rockin' colours only require one sweep of the brush for perfect coverage.
2. When it rains, there are umbrella bagging devices when you walk in a store or restaurant so you don't drip all over.
3. The kids are pretty darn cute (I have a lil' gal that continuously exclaims, "I am genius!" and then sucks her thumb, I think she's 8).
4. You get to ride your bike on the sidewalk, a HUGE sidewalk.
5. It hasn't rained in over a week, and before that it hadn't rained in over a week (maybe not a big deal to anyone not from Vancouver).
6. No tipping.
7. Something oddly liberating being able to live and work and get around everywhere you need to go sans auto.
8. We work 6 hours a day (and it takes 30 seconds to walk to work).
9. Cans of soda are 2/3 the size, and 1/3 the cost
10. We found curry, butt loads of curry: cans of Thai curries, packets of Indian curries, and even some pretty good ramen curry if we need curry in a hurry (couldn't resist).

Mostly small things that probably don't seem like much, but we appreciate them, and we appreciate the people. Like our one security guard who is terrified of our lil' 7 lb dog, and our other security guard who busted out some English today for the first time (obviously mustering up the courage over the past 4 months)! Or the random Koreans who shout "HELLO!" and wave like lunatics when they pass you, just because they know a little English. I appreciate that although I get treated like a child on occasion, I also get treated like a welcome guest. Finally, in the nearly three years Thomas and I have been married, and 5 years we've been together, this is the first time we've kept the same work hours. Definitely not complaining.

To sum: good contraptions, great company.

Matchmaker, matchmaker

2009-09-15T23:07:00.006+09:00

These two obviously won't be getting married (you can click the picture to see the writing better):

He actually had me with a couple solid points, until of course "delicious dinner menu". I bet this gal won't be cooking him anything, at least nothing delicious:

Open Apology to Korea (or maybe just the Sangbong Costco lady)

2009-09-14T01:01:00.012+09:00

Costco was insane today. Many, many, many people and if I could explain how Koreans walk and navigate in one sentence I would simply say it is an abomination to the walking and navigating world. After extensive dodging, fist shaking, and holding our tongues, we made it to the check-out. We gave the woman our Costco card and she started talking to us (in Korean) about some Samsung Point Card. This would normally be where we do our polite "sorry, no Korean" with sweet smiles; however, Thomas wasn't paying attention getting out the cash and I just looked at her and mumbled "do I look like I speak Korean". Thomas then realized the woman was talking to him and said, "what?". Then, not hearing what I'd already said, he mumbled to me, "does it look like I speak Korean". Representing big time for the foreigners today.

Sorry, Korea, we'll do better next time.

Presents for my presence

2009-09-08T22:38:00.014+09:00

Some things I picked up on my trip home this weekend:

1. Hacking cough and bloody nose (24 hours of plane air in under 5 days)
2. 3 gray hairs
3. A dozen little bug bite looking things on my lower back (heat rash? allergy? crabs? allergy to crabs?)
4. Serious case of my body saying, "what the freak are you doing to me, moron!"
5. And of course, some pretty fab memories of a very special day:

As the Koreans would say: Congra-chew-ration!

Can't Hardly Wait

2009-09-02T01:29:00.011+09:00

I am heading across the Pacific Ocean tomorrow for my sisters wedding and there are definitely some things I'm looking forward to seeing when I arrive home:

A news pair of shoes and boots I ordered online that I know are waiting patiently for me. And my family. Should I qualify this with an "in no particular order"? Don't worry family, you're number one on the list, mentioning the shoes first merely made for a mildly amusing post (emphasis on mildly). I would, however, like to ask for bonus points for using the title of a late 90s rom-com staring Jennifer-Love Hewitt. You're welcome.

2 guys walk into a bar

2009-08-30T13:04:00.005+09:00

A girl walked into our karaoke room last night and threw up. I happened to be in the bathroom when this occurred looking for a decent stall to use (ladies, y'all know the foot kick, hold your breath, and prepare to avert eyes stall check). Luckily vomit gal is all about inclusion, so she ran into the bathroom and splatted another load all over the floor. I had yet to prep for said bathroom activity so I took a quick breath of fresh stall air and ran the freak outta there. It wouldn't be over exaggerating to tell you I stifled a tear.

Edit for additional info: In case it wasn't clear, we did not know the girl. Just a random girl with an uncanny ability to bring a group together through disgusting and life shattering circumstances.

Wha tha fa?

2009-08-23T20:46:00.008+09:00

Today marks the official three month anniversary of our arrival in Seoul. Living here for three months has taught us enough survival Korean to get along just great. When we do have troubles there's usually a picture to help us out. However, these notices went up in our elevator last week and we are at a complete loss as to what in goodness sake they are trying to tell us. I will attempt to translate as my time here does render me slightly more qualified than y'all.

This one is warning us of business men who may be bringing guns onto the elevator. We currently do not have metal detectors so we also believe this is also letting us know we should expect their installation soon. Remember to wave happily to any children you see bowing to middle aged school teachers. Lastly, plug your ears immediately in case the glass ceiling on the elevator gets too low for middle aged business women to hold up (glass ceiling to be installed soon as well).

Next set of instructions. Sing in Korean. Wait for a stewardess to talk and show you to the elevator. Then another reminder to bow to your teachers. Ah heck, stay in school too, kids.

Seriously, Nowon-Gu Sanggye 6 Dong Apt. 204, we have no idea what the scrappin' crap you want us to do. Obviously clip art in Korea can be just as grossly misused as it is in North America.

Magical Me

2009-08-22T13:02:00.000+09:00

Foreigners do have special powers that allow them to perform simple, everyday, ordinary tasks. This power also aids in general decision making including, but not limited to, how to live life, etc. For example (K=Korean, C=Christy):

K: What is that you are eating?
C: It's red thai curry.
K: Where did you get that?
C: HomePlus (Korean equivalent to Target)
K: You went to HomePlus?
C: Yeah, we go there a lot.
K: Oh wow!

They really find it a small wonder we ever leave our apartments. When we went south to meet Sawyer, there was a lot of concern:

K: How will you get there?
C: By train. (abra . .)
K: How will you find the house?
C: The couple will tell us how to get there. (. .cadabra)
K: Where will you stay?
C: In a hotel, or at a friends place. (Christy swooshes her wand)

Likely the most frequent conversation we have:

C: We want to try (insert Western/Indian/Mexican food restaurant name here) sometime.
K: Oh no, that is too expensive!
C: Oh, like how much?
K: At least $12 for one dish!

Koreans obviously needs a quick lesson in eating out on the West Coast of Canada, where dropping $18 on a mediocre bowl of pasta is par for the course on a Saturday night. We get treated like children a lot too:

K: So you are going to get a dog?
C: Yes! I'm so excited!
K: You know that dogs need food and water and to go to the bathroom.
C: (silence)

So what's your story?

2009-08-19T11:10:00.000+09:00

Yes, we adopted ourselves a little friend nearly 2 weeks ago. His name was Totto when we got him, but we're working towards Sawyer. He answers to it just as much as he answers to Totto, so we feel it's a sign for him to leave the old behind and start fresh. We did lots of research before adopting a pet and found out it isn't difficult or even expensive to bring them home, especially if they are small and can be brought in-cabin. So we started looking and found Sawyer on an English rescue website for abandoned and rescued animals in Korea.

He began life with a middle aged Korean couple, was given to a middle aged Korean woman, and then given to that woman's son. The son was a teacher at an English school and arranged for his American co-workers to look after Sawyer for a week while he went on vacation. The guy sent an email 2 weeks later saying he wasn't coming back, he just felt bad leaving Sawyer on the street. Thankfully for us the American couple kept him and posted him on the site.

He is in good health, but he's had it rough. He is terrified of clinking dishes, clapping, or really any sudden noise. He's not to good with Korean men and we're sure he's been hit by them in the past. When we leave for work he shakes and when we return he goes crazy like he was left alone for days. Hopefully over time that will all pass.

The best way to sum up Korean sentiment for dogs is: expendable, vermin, accessories. You keep it until the novelty wears off and you're tired of caring for it. Then let it run away, leave it at a shelter, or just pass it on to someone else. They have strange ideas about what is "cruel" to do to a dog (getting it micro-chipped, or fixed) but no regard for it's need to be socialized, go outside or be house trained. Every Korean friend has told us that he needs a bow. Are you kidding me? I'm already preparing myself for the fact that he will need to wear a sweater/coat in the winter out of necessity (he has a super thin coat and it gets pretty cold here). So no, no bow. Sheesh.

So that's Sawyer. Not a super "fun" or "goofy" post, but I thought his story was worth telling.

UPDATE

2009-08-15T00:20:00.000+09:00

Two brilliant titles to add to the "masterpieces" we were blessed to have available for viewing last week:

iRobot
Elektra

What's my favourite thing about the "masterpieces"? Writing "masterpiece" in quotation marks every time I use the word.

So what's a classic?

2009-08-13T00:11:00.000+09:00

Please note the writing to the top left of the TV screen:

And in case that screen shot didn't give away what the "masterpiece" is:

Home Alone 2. Other "masterpieces" we've seen this week: Nim's Island, and Step Up 2: The Streets. Is it any wonder we're heading to bed early and setting the alarm to make sure we don't miss a single moment of Thursday's "Masterpiece Week" gems? No, it really isn't.

Our New Best Friend

2009-08-08T13:14:00.000+09:00

I think he's used to a flash because he kept squinting when I was about to take a pic. Pretty darn cute, and made for a priceless "winking" shot.

This is Totto. We love him. He will be our best friend forever.

Be Dareful

2009-08-04T23:16:00.001+09:00

Third one down. Just some tips, no real procedures, use the tips if you like.

We are very lucky we hit the attraction during its operating hour!

(giggle)

No clue what a hair bank is. Not even a little bit.

Thomas has one as well and we drink our coffee out of them every morning. It's good for our relationship, and for getting informed taste. Why don't you try taking a rest with a mug cup?

This one is courtesy of Michaela (a fellow teacher). I think it's the funniest one I've seen. I particularly encourage you to say it out loud.

And because I can't resist a teaser, Thomas and I have something very exciting happening on Friday. There will definitely be photos as soon as possible.

It's a God Thing

2009-07-27T00:03:00.001+09:00

God has a way of turning things around and showing us the beauty and wonder of something right after we find a way to see the frustrating or gross in it (see previous post re: onions, mustard and ketchup a la Costco side dish). Korea, I believe in you again because of this:
Soap on a pole. Just clutch, yank, and rinse. It's good practice, too. I mean for when you're in the shower with those crazy non-attached bars of soap, those lil' suckers are slippery. I should also mention I managed a run in with this contraption not once, but three times in just two days. For this lover of good ol' fashioned fart jokes and potty humour it isn't an understatement to say I was in heaven.

Here's a pic of us on the subway. Just because. Just love us.
Here's more proof I'm in Seoul, and enjoying my milkshake, and kinda don't have a neck.

I judge you a little, Koreans

2009-07-24T11:45:00.000+09:00

Okay. I really love it here. For the most part it's easy to forgive a lot of small stuff that annoys me as "they just do things differently, they are a different culture". There is something that I just can't get over, that I just don't think I'll ever be able to get over, and it begins in the Costco cafeteria:

Imagine if you will exactly the same looking Costco cafeteria as North America with the same menu of hot dogs, pizza, ice cream, etc. No big deal. It wasn't until my third visit there that I was subjected to something I am unable to shake. I had found a seat in the crowded cafeteria and was waiting for Thomas to acquire my much anticipated hot dog when I notice something on the table beside me. 3 regular looking school girls (also waiting for their friend to bring the food) had a plate in front of them. On this full sized dinner plate was a heaping pile each of ketchup, mustard, and onions. I let it go and assumed "I guess this is easier for the friend getting the hot dogs".

I could never have been so wrong. Moments later the friend showed up with some slices of pizza and a chicken wrap thing, not a hot dog in sight. The girls proceeded to do something that will haunt me forever: mix together the ketchup, mustard and onion, hand each other forks, and dig in. Oh god. It was a side dish. They didn't even put it on the pizza as an extra topping. My horror only compounded when I looked around and witnessed this happening on countless tables around me.

So yes, Koreans who do this, I judge you a little. So judge me back. Me and my plain hot dog sans side dish do just fine, thank-you.

Do you not hear what I don't hear?

2009-07-13T19:49:00.000+09:00

Commence whine:

I'm still sick. I became sick nearly two weeks ago. This nasty little bugger started with a cough then more and more coughing and less sleeping and more coughing and sinus fillage and less sleeping and finally a lovely little ear infection (including loss of hearing in the right ear). The "good" news is that when I finally agreed to see the doctor, our boss took me to an ear, nose, throat clinic. Can you believe that? No referral, just walked right in and was seen immediately. The "scary" part was that he actually wore one of those old-school reflectors on his head (see fig. 1). Oddly enough when looking for a stock photo of a reflector thingy, the only photos that came up were ads for Halloween costumes. Hmmm. I'd also love to tell you about the "treatment" I received at the clinic which involved two heated cup things with handles that I held over my ears for 30 seconds, but it's too hard to explain.

To sum up: I'll be returning on Wednesday when I will potentially have my ear drum stabbed and drained. Gross. Until then, I'll continue taking my albino pill cocktail and using the word "what?" way too much.

Last paragraph, I promise, I have a little treat in store so stay tuned for upcoming posts that involve Korean items with English gone drunken.

No? Yes. So Yes? No.

2009-07-02T18:37:00.000+09:00

A conversation I just had moments ago at work:

Christy: No class right now?
Korean Teacher: Yes.
Christy: So I do have class?
Korean Teacher: No.
Christy: So no class today?
Korean Teacher: Yes.
Christy: Okay.

I showed up for the class just in case. I didn't have it. So no class today. No.

How To Go To The Movies (in Korea)

2009-06-29T01:19:00.000+09:00

The movie theatre in Korea looks like any ol' movie theatre across North America, except imagine the lobby of one of "ours" with rows and rows of cushy benches (you'll find out what those are for later).

1. Plan ahead - if you want to see a movie, you have to know more than just a couple hours in advance. Even if it isn't opening weekend movies often sell out (I bought our tickets at noon for a 10pm show and it was nearly full).
2. Take a number - wait until the ticketing agent displays your number (the benches come in handy for this).
3. Purchase your tickets - this is generally like any other interaction us foreigners have with Koreans, lots of hand signals, hoping they magically learn the word you're repeating over and over, leaning over the counter to look at their computer screen, etc.
4. Go home and wait 10 hours for your movie.
5. Time to leave - but not too early, seating is assigned and it's only a 3 minute walk down the street.
6. Arrival - no, you may not go directly into the theatre. Please, entire audience of the movie, sit on the benches in the lobby and wait until the ticketing lady tells you it's time to enter the theatre which is approx. 5 minutes before the movie begins (please also note the use of the benches).
7. No Previews.
8. Movie begins.
9. Latecomers - shamefully wait in the entrance hallway and debate for about 5 minutes when an appropriate time to find your seat will be. When you find that time sprint to your seat. I'm serious, don't even think about lightly jogging. Oh wait, you're carrying drinks and popcorn? You should probably run even faster.
10. Need a Potty Break? - please refer to number 9 (the added stress of needing to pee and not wanting to miss a minute of the movie should probably have you running at near mach speeds).
11. Hahaha? - If you're an English speaker, you'll probably be the only one laughing. This is not racist, I'm merely commenting on the obvious lost in translation situation.
12. Children under the age of 5 - BRING THEM! Borrow someone elses if you don't have any of your own. Especially if it's a late show!
13. Movie ends - everything is pretty much normal from here on home, sorry to disappoint.

Now that you've got this handy list you can print it off and take it to the next movie you see in Korea. You're welcome.

Skillful Your Abbot

2009-06-23T22:34:00.000+09:00

Thanks, Japan, for out Asianing Korea in your wonkification of the English language:

For other gems in this video series try googling phrases such as "I can't stand the sight of you" or "hasta la vista, baby", or just watch this other one I've posted (you can thank me later).

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Bad tourist.

2009-06-18T22:19:00.000+09:00

I regret to inform you that I'm not a very good tourist. We completely ditched the War Museum/Memorial in favour of a bigger hard drive. Thomas and I purchased our beloved iMac just over a year ago with the assumption it would fit in a carry-on suitcase. In all of our amazing planning/complete idiotness we didn't actually attempt said "fitting" until the day before we left. One panicked phone call to a local mac retailer and a wad of cash later, we were in possession of a new MacBook Pro. Unfortunately, with such little time (one afternoon) to acquire the laptop we weren't able to get the upgrades we wanted. Needless to say it did not make us grateful laptop owners.

Enter friend: Dan Spicer, "hard drive is super easy to install, man". So with only one weekend left in the company of Mr. Spicer we attacked Yongsan Electronics Market. Okay, not really attacked so much as followed Dan around like lost puppies while he swiftly purchased us a 500GB hard drive along with a case for the 250GB one we'd be removing. How much? $120.00 (or 123,000 won).

I think we still miss our iMac and we've still got a RAM purchase and installation to tackle on our own, but we're not complaining (at least not a lot). Hopefully this weekend we'll make up for our lack of touring and see a palace or museum or something. I think we're hitting up Costco for sure so maybe I'll document the righteous hot dog I'm planning on enjoying. Jealous? Obviously.

UPDATE!

2009-06-12T02:27:00.000+09:00

The ascending note progression announcing the "Great Korean Voice" is actually a 4 note major arpeggio (likely in the key of C). As you can guess the descending progression is the same 4 note arpeggio in reverse. Next on the list of conclusions: yes, we did in fact have it happen again this morning.

Do I need pants right now?

2009-06-10T10:35:00.000+09:00

Right as I was about to post about random things that tick me off, a speaker in our apartment that I believed was simply for the doorbell chimed an ascending 3 note melody and then began speaking Korean. It spoke Korean to us for about 30 seconds. Then it chimed a descending melody and it was over. Thomas and I proceeded to watch the apartment building across from us to see if the Korean voice was warning of an imminent attack (meaning were people who actually spoke the language fleeing in terror). Considering I had no pants on at that moment it was important to find out immediately if I needed to pants up and run for my life.

So no one did anything, and it was probably just our buildings security guard telling us all something like, "this week, recycling will be starting on Thursday" or "the elevator is being repaired so don't use it unless plummeting to your death is on your to do list". I didn't bother putting any pants on.

Now to end with one of the things I was going to post prior to the "Great Korean Voice" showing up:

Proof that men are just bigger versions of boys: Thomas named our wireless network WangsDong. I can't say I don't giggle every time I see it. You're probably giggling right now and just don't want to admit it.

Some puntastic title I can't think of right now.

2009-06-08T12:25:00.001+09:00

Well, we survived our first week of teaching. Currently we're enjoying our homemade Americanos on our balcony and relaxing before work. The one tragedy is that our Americanos this morning meant opening the second of three packs of Lavazza espresso we brought to hold us over until we discovered either more espresso, or sadly realized we'd need to switch back to good ol' drip coffee. I suppose this is a good tragedy to be facing considering we've just moved across an ocean to a random Asian country for a year. The apartment is finally looking and feeling like somewhere we can call home for the year thanks to a bottle of bleach, some solid elbow grease, and a few investments in incandescent lighting (they don't make warm white CFLs over here, cold white is not an option unless jumping off our balcony is). Also, we invested in a sofa bed for all y'all feeling a bit of wanderlust. Pics soon to come of the inside, but until then here's a smattering of our adventure to date (kinda a little small smattering, sorry):

The concrete apartments are just the way it is, but the mountains aren't too shabby. It's the view from the walkway to our apartment on the 13th floor.

Crazy kickin' Korean. I thought my sister would get a kick (pun intended?) out of this one as she is often subjected to this crazy ritual at bus stops and crosswalks all over Richmond.

Good bye dinner and drinks with staff (good-bye to the other teachers, we're still here for 51 more weeks). Hooray, friends and cards and beer on the balcony/patio/porch!
Boys at the baseball game. We decided to cheer for the team with the better uniforms, thankfully we were also sitting in that teams section.

Cheering for the Lotte Jai-ee-an-sey (Giants, actually, the Koreans have a knack for making one or two syllable words upwards of five or six syllables). Also, our teams cheerleader was a man in a uniform with white gloves and a whistle who lead us in cheers to the tune of everything from the "Hallelujah Chorus" to "Glory, Glory, Hallelujah" to "Mary Had a Little Lamb" and other random melodies.

And of course, hanging out at the Spicers. And also a rare glimpse at my actual presence in Korea. As you can see the hair is holding its own in the humidity and pollution.

We're doing our first touristy thing this weekend and heading to the Korean War museum. I'd say it'll be "fun" but that seems like a slightly odd choice of a word. Kinda like Thomas wishing our boss a "Happy Memorial Day" this weekend as it was the Korean equivalent of Remembrance Day on Saturday. We're learning.

Teacher. Slow. Please.

2009-06-02T02:01:00.000+09:00

It is now officially official: I talk kinda fast. At Christmas in France one of Thomas' old high school friends mentioned to him that, "I can understand Irish accents, but your wife is very difficult to keep up with". Today was my first day of teaching (Thomas' as well) and aside from preparing for the entirely wrong evening class it went fairly well. I did, however, have a few too many students say in desperation, "Teacher! Slow! Please!" Poor little Korean children with sad, panicky little faces trying to understand me (which reminds me I also spelled "Korean" incorrectly on the board today).

We are also all moved into our apartment. I've been snapping photos here and there, but have yet to really capture what is going on in our lives in Seoul. Soon.

I am sure homesickness will set in quickly and I'll be desperate for a glass of chocolate milk in about 4 more days, but for now I'm completely soaking in the wonderfulness that is our situation. This is probably the shortest commute I'll ever have (we live directly behind the school), live within blocks of 2 different subway lines, and a Costco is only 5 stops away down one of them. Aside from a serious lack of protein in the Korean diet (Thomas hasn't felt full since we arrived), I think we're doing alright. Oh, and I totally had Kraft Dinner for supper tonight thanks to some rad food left from the previous teachers including pesto, lots of Mexican seasonings, and Knotts Berry Farm syrup. Finally, I've developed a mild addiction to the canned Starbucks Espresso double shots. I'll keep you posted on the rapid weight gain that will likely follow.

Is That Normal?

2009-05-26T14:24:00.001+09:00

This is probably a question I'll ask a lot over the next year. I'm okay with that. My question regarding "normality" today, however, has to do with the plane ride over. As we were approaching our destination and preparing to land, an announcement was made:

"At this time we would like to take a moment to remind you of where your emergency exits are. Please look around, note the exit, and refer to the safety card in your seat back pocket. Thank-you".

Hmmm, that's new.

At dinner last night we were told NKorea was testing a nuke sometime around when we were arriving. Glad we dodged that bullet.

Oh My Hair; Oh, my hair; Oh my, hair.

2009-05-21T04:48:00.000+09:00

In preparing to leave for my new home overseas, I've been asking a lot of questions regarding products to bring that are not available in Korea. It was made terribly clear to me while compiling my list that I, Christy Gage, am a vain person. And as I think more about what my biggest concerns are once I arrive, I have to be honest that "what on earth will my hair do" is at the top of the list. In what little defense I may be able to muster, I hear the humidity is a beast and I have no desire to end up like my Friend, Monica Bing. This is an extreme possibility. This photo is my own, personal, cautionary tale.

Depending on how that question eventually gets answered will likely have a direct impact on the amount of photos posted of myself in the first few months. Godspeed, hair.

3 Reasons (see, it's biblical)

2009-05-14T12:47:00.000+09:00

It is a well known fact that there are only three legitimate reasons to start a blog. Oddly enough these same three reasons apply to sending in updates to the Alumni section of your University's magazine:

1. got married
2. had a kid
3. moved overseas

Since number one is completely overrated (and kinda not an option given my current marital status) and number two only refers to a bowel movement in my world, I decided that I wanted to start a blog and therefore figured I should find a place overseas to move.

Seoul, Korea, here we come.

Finally

2009-03-14T16:54:00.000+09:00

I'm not sure this is how it's going to all work out. I can't remember if I need to always change the font when I'm about to post, or does it just remember? I probably should not have a job working on a computer all day, like I do now.

Moving on. This is not for you to read right now. I'm just really disappointed about the stupid dotted lines between the 3 billion posts I did before this one. It looks really ugly. And I know I could get rid of them altogether, but I think in the end they are useful.

So now something really important: when I think of what to do with life, sometimes I think about other things and then I get all, "wha, I can't even think about something seriously for 5 seconds" and then I beat myself up and then I often will make some chocolate milk and drink my sorrows away but my intestines are not always as happy with this decision as my taste buds. Mmm, chocolate milk. I'm going to get some.

Deletion Completion

2009-03-13T15:44:00.000+09:00

Well not really. I can't figure out how to delete anything. So now these wonkified posts will always haunt me.

UNDER

2009-03-13T13:48:00.000+09:00

CONSTRUCTION.

more testing

2009-03-13T12:33:00.001+09:00

This is a Test-tickle

2009-03-13T11:23:00.000+09:00

Hey, wow, things are so great. Lalala.

2009-03-13T10:59:00.001+09:00

I'm checking to see what is going on. I will likely delete this. Either way, we shall be victorious.