Honesty is the Best Policy?

Something about working with children that most people learn quickly is their inhibitions in regards to truth telling. Young children won't shy away from telling you, "your breath smells" or "you have pointy ears like and elf!" (both of which I've had said to me in the past, and in defense of the bad breath it was after I'd had coffee).

Being in Korea, though, you have to develop an entirely new skin of thickness for what these children will say/do to you. Keep in mind these are not things only my youngest students have said to me, but students up to age 16:

1. "Teacher, you look awful today. You have dark eye circles." (age 11)
2. "Teacher, your nose is long and big" (age 15)
3. On more than one occassion I've had students reach out and just press on the tip of my nose. It usually results in screams, and encouragement for other students to also touch the end of my nose. (ages 13 - 15)
4. Every female teacher's most dreaded, "Teacher, baby?" while pointing to your stomach. (ages 9-13)
5. The other week I was wearing shorts with tights, and a female student came up to me and "examined" my thighs (checked the girth and firmness). I got a "good teacher" when she was finished. Phew. (age 15)
6. Often changing between curly and straight hair, I showed up to class with straight hair after wearing it curly, to which I was told, "Oh teacher, better hair, curly hair is old lady hair". (age 16)
7. One time my students came in to visit me in the office, and upon looking at Thomas they simply pointed at him and laughed, "funny hair today!"
8. This last one isn't bad, quite the contrary, but I need to share it. For some reason Thomas keeps getting told he looks like Brad Pitt, "Teacher Tom, same Brad Pitt!" they say. My students saw a picture of Brad Pitt in their text books and exclaimed, "Teacher! It's Tom!". Oh brother.

I'm sure I'm missing some classics, and I'm sure by the end of the day I'll have a few more. My new slogan for teaching English in Korea:

Foreign Teaching Korea: Daily Lessons in Letting Things Go

Thomas' Look of the Week

What does a black eye and really chapped lips with lots of blistex on them look like?

This:

I'm Learned

Things I learned or realized today in Korea:

1. Finding your 2 Korean friends in a sea of 2,000 Koreans is in fact as challenging as it sounds (at one point I wasn't even able to remember what my friends actually looked like).
2. After 6 months I still hate that they all chew with their mouths open. I believe in 6 more months I will still feel the same way.
3. I see a drunk Korean man every single day.
4. I see a drunk Korean man fall down every 3-5 days. Literally, man goes from vertical to horizontal (tonight the man was fortunate enough to land in a pile of snow).
5. My favourite Korean food is meat. The meat really just tastes like meat you'd find at home. So I guess I don't really have a favourite Korean food.
6. Everyone will tell you the bus is faster than the subway. What they don't tell you is that your chances of dying on a bus (or wetting your pants in fear of death) is multiplied by 5.
7. Just because I have learned more Korean, doesn't mean Koreans have learned more English. Must remember to clarify that no, I do not want a Vanilla latte, I want a Banilla latte.
8. I will spend $70 for two bottles of my favourite wine.
9. I am not on vacation here, so I need to stop eating like I am.
10. Dairy products have ridiculously short expiry dates, while bread lasts freakishly long.
11. I like waiting to show the salesgirls my face until after they've run up to me and spoken a bunch of Korean (the dark hair and bangs usually makes them assume I'm one of them). Reactions I get usually involve them stopping mid sentence, backing away slowly, or awkward smile/giggle/red face combinations.
12. Milk is never going to smell right, just put it in your coffee and cereal and don't ask questions.

Fish is no. Engrish is Yes.

We went to the Aquarium at COEX, the big underground mall in Seoul. All of my undersea wonderfulness pictures were crap. Thankfully these ones turned out perfectly:

This is the one that got it all started.

It's funny how simple this only needed to be: Caution! Window.

Second line from the top.

This is good English. Ornot.

Confusing but Okay, Good Picture!

Instructions above the exhibit where you can pick up the starfish.

I couldn't get my camera out fast enough.
It says: City of Bastard

Lesson learned: at an inside aquarium your fish pictures may not turn out great so make sure you go to the inside aquarium in a foreign country so you will have good "wonky Engrish" pictures to share with all your friends and family instead.

Why I Love My Job

I finally, finally, finally brought my camera with me to work today. About a month ago, I walked into a class I teach three days a week, and was greeted by a student who I swear had grown at least 5 inches over night. I realized I needed to quickly get my camera to work, otherwise all my uber-cute students would no longer be uber-cute, just kinda-cute. These pictures are from two of my favorite classes.

This is Candy (L) and Julia. Julia is one of my favorites. She's smart, but it's her dramatic, wild goofiness that I soak up class after class. Sometimes I just let her "perform" her craziness for the class (anything from re-enactments of Korean soap operas, to made up stories, to TV commercials). Then I perform my impression of her. As the Koreans would say: many, many, many laughter.

Peter (L) and Harry are in the same class with the girls. Poor Harry always wants to work and study. Too bad I'm his teacher.

Genius Julia (as she calls herself) decided it would be great to let her friend give her a hickey on her cheek. I nearly died when she told me, "teacher, friend on cheek, shhhshhhcchhhoo (vaccum, sucking noise)".

The three girls here (Lisa, Linda, and Jessica), and three boys below are my youngest. Just looking at these pictures makes me excited to get back to work and see them after Christmas break. I love them. Period.

James, Eric (centre) and Jack. Wild, wild children. I probably wouldn't love them as much if they were any different. They have pretty low English, so often the boys will jump out of their seats act out thoughts they have, or words they want to communicate (yes, then I teach it to them in English).

This is James again. He's the best. The Korean teachers joke he is our child. He's always in the office talking and goofing around with Thomas and I. So much love.

These and so many more children here make me consistently happy to go to work. Thankfully, they easily outweigh the dumb, idiot children I also have to deal with.

Christmas Time

One guess what movie I watched for my decorating inspiration: Elf. I had a fun couple nights cutting up all the snowflakes, I'm an expert now. A snowflakspert.


Yes, we actually have presents under the tree, those are from my family, there have been more added since!


If it looks like he hates wearing them, it's because he does. But scrappin' crappin' he looks cute as a button.



Thomas decked out in the traditional (Guthrie side) tacky Christmas bottoms (penguins drinking beer).

It's Christmas Eve here and we are sippin' cider and watching a movie. I have part of the turkey in cooking for tomorrow and it smells just like home. Only challenge will be resisting the urge to taste test before Christmas dinner. And now, off to baste.

Special Day?

The conversation began:

Christy: Oh my gosh, it's 12 days till Christmas!
Thomas: Yes. Do you know what is only 6 days before Christmas?
Christy: Someones birthday?
Thomas: No.
Christy: Did we plan something? A movie? Is someone coming over?
Thomas: No.
Christy: I can't think of anything?!
Thomas: Try a little harder.
Christy: I have no clue!?
Thomas: Think.
Christy: Seriously, don't be a tuna, tell me, I don't know.
Thomas: Something important happened around this time.
Christy: Thomas, freekin' just tell me!
Thomas: It's our anniversary.
Christy: Oh crap.
Thomas: Yeah, I forgot until Kyla mentioned it to me tonight.

At least we both know neither of us has high expectations when it comes to celebrating being together. Correction: celebrating the specific day a piece of paper declared we'd be seeing a lot of each other over the next 85 years (no comments on what age that will put me at, thank-you).