How To Go To The Movies (in Korea)

The movie theatre in Korea looks like any ol' movie theatre across North America, except imagine the lobby of one of "ours" with rows and rows of cushy benches (you'll find out what those are for later).

1. Plan ahead - if you want to see a movie, you have to know more than just a couple hours in advance. Even if it isn't opening weekend movies often sell out (I bought our tickets at noon for a 10pm show and it was nearly full).
2. Take a number - wait until the ticketing agent displays your number (the benches come in handy for this).
3. Purchase your tickets - this is generally like any other interaction us foreigners have with Koreans, lots of hand signals, hoping they magically learn the word you're repeating over and over, leaning over the counter to look at their computer screen, etc.
4. Go home and wait 10 hours for your movie.
5. Time to leave - but not too early, seating is assigned and it's only a 3 minute walk down the street.
6. Arrival - no, you may not go directly into the theatre. Please, entire audience of the movie, sit on the benches in the lobby and wait until the ticketing lady tells you it's time to enter the theatre which is approx. 5 minutes before the movie begins (please also note the use of the benches).
7. No Previews.
8. Movie begins.
9. Latecomers - shamefully wait in the entrance hallway and debate for about 5 minutes when an appropriate time to find your seat will be. When you find that time sprint to your seat. I'm serious, don't even think about lightly jogging. Oh wait, you're carrying drinks and popcorn? You should probably run even faster.
10. Need a Potty Break? - please refer to number 9 (the added stress of needing to pee and not wanting to miss a minute of the movie should probably have you running at near mach speeds).
11. Hahaha? - If you're an English speaker, you'll probably be the only one laughing. This is not racist, I'm merely commenting on the obvious lost in translation situation.
12. Children under the age of 5 - BRING THEM! Borrow someone elses if you don't have any of your own. Especially if it's a late show!
13. Movie ends - everything is pretty much normal from here on home, sorry to disappoint.

Now that you've got this handy list you can print it off and take it to the next movie you see in Korea. You're welcome.

Skillful Your Abbot

Thanks, Japan, for out Asianing Korea in your wonkification of the English language:




For other gems in this video series try googling phrases such as "I can't stand the sight of you" or "hasta la vista, baby", or just watch this other one I've posted (you can thank me later).

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Bad tourist.

I regret to inform you that I'm not a very good tourist. We completely ditched the War Museum/Memorial in favour of a bigger hard drive. Thomas and I purchased our beloved iMac just over a year ago with the assumption it would fit in a carry-on suitcase. In all of our amazing planning/complete idiotness we didn't actually attempt said "fitting" until the day before we left. One panicked phone call to a local mac retailer and a wad of cash later, we were in possession of a new MacBook Pro. Unfortunately, with such little time (one afternoon) to acquire the laptop we weren't able to get the upgrades we wanted. Needless to say it did not make us grateful laptop owners.

Enter friend: Dan Spicer, "hard drive is super easy to install, man". So with only one weekend left in the company of Mr. Spicer we attacked Yongsan Electronics Market. Okay, not really attacked so much as followed Dan around like lost puppies while he swiftly purchased us a 500GB hard drive along with a case for the 250GB one we'd be removing. How much? $120.00 (or 123,000 won).

I think we still miss our iMac and we've still got a RAM purchase and installation to tackle on our own, but we're not complaining (at least not a lot). Hopefully this weekend we'll make up for our lack of touring and see a palace or museum or something. I think we're hitting up Costco for sure so maybe I'll document the righteous hot dog I'm planning on enjoying. Jealous? Obviously.

UPDATE!

The ascending note progression announcing the "Great Korean Voice" is actually a 4 note major arpeggio (likely in the key of C). As you can guess the descending progression is the same 4 note arpeggio in reverse. Next on the list of conclusions: yes, we did in fact have it happen again this morning.

Do I need pants right now?

Right as I was about to post about random things that tick me off, a speaker in our apartment that I believed was simply for the doorbell chimed an ascending 3 note melody and then began speaking Korean. It spoke Korean to us for about 30 seconds. Then it chimed a descending melody and it was over. Thomas and I proceeded to watch the apartment building across from us to see if the Korean voice was warning of an imminent attack (meaning were people who actually spoke the language fleeing in terror). Considering I had no pants on at that moment it was important to find out immediately if I needed to pants up and run for my life.

So no one did anything, and it was probably just our buildings security guard telling us all something like, "this week, recycling will be starting on Thursday" or "the elevator is being repaired so don't use it unless plummeting to your death is on your to do list". I didn't bother putting any pants on.

Now to end with one of the things I was going to post prior to the "Great Korean Voice" showing up:

Proof that men are just bigger versions of boys: Thomas named our wireless network WangsDong. I can't say I don't giggle every time I see it. You're probably giggling right now and just don't want to admit it.

Some puntastic title I can't think of right now.

Well, we survived our first week of teaching. Currently we're enjoying our homemade Americanos on our balcony and relaxing before work. The one tragedy is that our Americanos this morning meant opening the second of three packs of Lavazza espresso we brought to hold us over until we discovered either more espresso, or sadly realized we'd need to switch back to good ol' drip coffee. I suppose this is a good tragedy to be facing considering we've just moved across an ocean to a random Asian country for a year. The apartment is finally looking and feeling like somewhere we can call home for the year thanks to a bottle of bleach, some solid elbow grease, and a few investments in incandescent lighting (they don't make warm white CFLs over here, cold white is not an option unless jumping off our balcony is). Also, we invested in a sofa bed for all y'all feeling a bit of wanderlust. Pics soon to come of the inside, but until then here's a smattering of our adventure to date (kinda a little small smattering, sorry):


The concrete apartments are just the way it is, but the mountains aren't too shabby. It's the view from the walkway to our apartment on the 13th floor.

Crazy kickin' Korean. I thought my sister would get a kick (pun intended?) out of this one as she is often subjected to this crazy ritual at bus stops and crosswalks all over Richmond.

Good bye dinner and drinks with staff (good-bye to the other teachers, we're still here for 51 more weeks). Hooray, friends and cards and beer on the balcony/patio/porch!
Boys at the baseball game. We decided to cheer for the team with the better uniforms, thankfully we were also sitting in that teams section.

Cheering for the Lotte Jai-ee-an-sey (Giants, actually, the Koreans have a knack for making one or two syllable words upwards of five or six syllables). Also, our teams cheerleader was a man in a uniform with white gloves and a whistle who lead us in cheers to the tune of everything from the "Hallelujah Chorus" to "Glory, Glory, Hallelujah" to "Mary Had a Little Lamb" and other random melodies.

And of course, hanging out at the Spicers. And also a rare glimpse at my actual presence in Korea. As you can see the hair is holding its own in the humidity and pollution.

We're doing our first touristy thing this weekend and heading to the Korean War museum. I'd say it'll be "fun" but that seems like a slightly odd choice of a word. Kinda like Thomas wishing our boss a "Happy Memorial Day" this weekend as it was the Korean equivalent of Remembrance Day on Saturday. We're learning.

Teacher. Slow. Please.

It is now officially official: I talk kinda fast. At Christmas in France one of Thomas' old high school friends mentioned to him that, "I can understand Irish accents, but your wife is very difficult to keep up with". Today was my first day of teaching (Thomas' as well) and aside from preparing for the entirely wrong evening class it went fairly well. I did, however, have a few too many students say in desperation, "Teacher! Slow! Please!" Poor little Korean children with sad, panicky little faces trying to understand me (which reminds me I also spelled "Korean" incorrectly on the board today).

We are also all moved into our apartment. I've been snapping photos here and there, but have yet to really capture what is going on in our lives in Seoul. Soon.

I am sure homesickness will set in quickly and I'll be desperate for a glass of chocolate milk in about 4 more days, but for now I'm completely soaking in the wonderfulness that is our situation. This is probably the shortest commute I'll ever have (we live directly behind the school), live within blocks of 2 different subway lines, and a Costco is only 5 stops away down one of them. Aside from a serious lack of protein in the Korean diet (Thomas hasn't felt full since we arrived), I think we're doing alright. Oh, and I totally had Kraft Dinner for supper tonight thanks to some rad food left from the previous teachers including pesto, lots of Mexican seasonings, and Knotts Berry Farm syrup. Finally, I've developed a mild addiction to the canned Starbucks Espresso double shots. I'll keep you posted on the rapid weight gain that will likely follow.